peace and quiet

alone at a favourite haunt, quiet time today was literally quiet. not only the place but the heart too. a mere 45 mins did much for the soul.

back home at dinner, listened to my sis in law's stories abt the pri kids in the class she teaches. :)

~who am i, that the voice that clamed the sea, would call out through the rain, and calm the storm in me~

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my papa is a farmer

he is semi retired, n goes to this organic farm every single day. the farm is divided into lots that people can 'adopt' for a certain sum. my father's got two lots of that. i think its pretty impressive that his veg are so much healthier and bigger than all the rest's. (they really are ok, i'm not saying this cos he's my father)

this is sort of backdated, but last sun i cycled to the farm. my eldest bro n sis in law drove my parents there. the 10mins ride, the farm, and company of family jst washed the fatigue away from me. it is yet another place close to home that is so un-citylike.

this is the bro who's 18 yrs older than me. when i was abt pri1 or 2, i asked my mother if i were the illegitimate child of my da ge. (got the inspiration from tv) i was reassured that i'm the result of my parents' love. :D AND the veg is life size ok! its like a super huge bouquet. :D

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I'm so glad

my phone battery died tonight. If not, i would have gotten a call from my groupmates asking me to go back to school, while shopping w shi en.

They're still there now, no idea what time they'll be there until. but sadly, i charged my phone and saw the missed calls, and called them back. so now i'm doing work with them too via the net. but at least i'm home, they're in school. i shld be feeling bad abt it, but i don't. :)

alrights back to work!

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i never thought

that i'll be so upset by results. got back a test this afternoon after that post. normally i don't give a damn. but today i realised it's only easy to say i don't care much abt results when they're still within my tolerance range. not when i fail a test. i didn't know i'll be on the verge of crying over something so small.



i used to be ok abt failing. heck, back in sec sch n jc, failing was nv that big a deal. but now that each test and proj is going to affect the gpa, it's so easy to get caught up in this whole chase for good gpa.



but what's scarier is the realisation of the amount of work to be done in preparation for the exams in two weeks' time. n projs are not even over yet. i can't even really start revision yet. just thinking abt it scares me.



with christ in the vessel i can smile at the storm, but lil did i realise how similar i am to the disciples in the vessel years ago.

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a wedding

is coming! my cousin kejia is getting married! tho i'm not the one getting married but i'm very excited for her. n shi en and i will be hosting the weddding dinner. which explains our shopping trip tonight to buy dress. and rehearse tomorrow night. then sat - tada! can't wait!

yest went for a super filling dinner with dabestclique :D sometimes our capacity for food is quite scary. muahaha. i think i blog abt them quite a lot. but that shows how important they are to me. with them, i let down my guard 100%. i know they accept me for who i am, the sometimes (maybe a lot of times) ahlian and chor lor and fierce me. *grins*

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Renny

My favourite voice :)

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IJ spirit burning bright

Actually i can't put a finger to what the IJ spirit really is, but the song is very nice, and it's even nicer when renny sings it with blackforest! (read: goosebumps) Went for the chillout party on sat, and it brought back so many memories. I don't love the St Nicks teachers actually, they didn't make such a great impact on me. I miss the food, definitely, but i think what makes me think of St Nicks so fondly is the priceless friendship formed in those years with DABESTCLIQUE.

anyway, highlights of the night were BLACKFOREST'S performance and the dark-chocolate-

alike voice of Jill!!! Blackforest has grown so much tighter since the last time i heard them perform. and I LOVE renny's voice. n to renny, we'll always be your greatest fan, cheering you on. For you, i'll be unglam and scream loudly till i lose my voice!

i can so imagine the day that renny will be on the stage at the indoor stadium and dabestclique will be in the audience in the first few rows, screaming our lungs off and bursting with pride that it's our beloved friend on the stage :) but come what may, i know we'll always be her biggest fan. at least i know i will be, whether it's in a small pub or a gigantic stage.

i still feel the tickets are overpriced, and the turnout wasn't too good. but at the end of the day, what mattered was that the dearest friends in my life were there :)

For pear:

The videos take super long to load! shall load it another time. hmm.

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its 12.20am now

and i'm in school :(
and i'll be back in school at 8.15am tomorrow morning. or rather, this morning.
and i haven't bathed yet.

luckily my groupmate stays in yishun. cabbing home w him.

i'm thankful my mother insisted i go home in the afternoon today instead of staying in sch till the proj meeting at night. at least i had a 1hr nap, after burning the midnight oil yest for the test this morning. (yest morn? this is confusing)

presentation tomorrow. i'm gg to be talking for 7 mins -.-

i can't believe the first time i'm blogging from school and it's at such an hour. final changes being made to slides now, and i'll be on my way home.

this is really 'hell' week. tomorrow will be another late night at school, preparing for yet another proj that's due on sun. there's yet another proj due next tues.

but, amidst it all, i know i can still smile at the storm. :)

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DARS appeared the next day!

God blesses in super tangible way sometimes. N this time round it was through pear. met pear, kai, n ting en for movie yest night. n on wed, pear told me and kai over msn that she bought sth for us. n we were trying to guess. the time we had the convo was abt 1 hr after i made the previous blog post.

pear: wanxin : bot u the thing to cheer u up and encourage u to pull thru ur tests... super big hint liao)

kai: ITS A PEN !!! haha

pear: kai : bot u the thing is to motivate u while reading bible. so wont be bored

kai: EHHHH ?

me: dars bitter chocolate???!!

pear: kai one not obvious.

pear: ...

pear: not saying anything else.

kai: u got us multi coloured post its right !!!

pear: diao

pear: even u 2 guess correct i oso wont say

and the very next day, it turns out she really got us coloured post its and dar bitter chocolate! and she bought all that without knowing we wanted those! woohoo. i think it's pretty amazing. haha.

alright fastforward to today. my niece, though very naughty, cheers me up with her innocence of a child

Her: Gu Gu, 我有没有跟你讲我明天去Disney on Ice?

Me: 有。讲了两次了，现在是第三次了。

Her: 我还是很 sad leh

Me: 为什么？

Her: 因为我有很多功课作！

Me: 有没有我多？

Her: 我有43页leh. 你有几页?

Me: 我的不是页的

Her: Huh!! 是本的阿？(gives me the shocked,wide-eyed look)

Then later, she went to bathe, and she said 'aiya, 等我冲好凉才跟你谈话啦'. Haha. shows how talkative she is. oh she is 7 btw (shehui she's not 3 anymore ok? haha)

Later at night, I read the bible with her (a first time!) and prayed with her too. Her parents don't do that with her, and I really should try to come home before she falls asleep so i can do that with her more often.

now, there's still work to be done. a lot of it. there's a presentation on wed, but we're barely halfway through the work. and there's a quiz on tues. which i have yet started revision for. and the whole of tomorrow is out. morn proj meeting, afternoon piano lesson, n night church. sun, church, then sentosa outing with church youths. which leaves me the night to create the ppt slides for wed in order to meet the group-imposed deadline.

but even though the movie last night, chatting w my parents n bro over dinner, n chatting w my niece sets me back quite a number of hours, and means i have to stay up later at night, nothing could have made me do things differently. what's a couple of late nights and darker eye rings if it means quality time with the people i love? :) though the movie on wed was just a movie, the company was great. ice cream treat by kai afterwards was a good way to unwind and just enjoy the company too :D

but now, time to do work.

oh on a sidenote, one of my dg girls served as pianist during jump (the crusade worship) today. it was a first for her, and i don't know why but i felt very 欣慰 and thankful that one of my sheep is stepping up to serve in crusade. :)

n i received a belated birthday treat from a dear friend today. a friendship formed through unusual circumstances. being late for sch tgt in st nicks, n ltr freshmen camp in smu. a friendship that has grown unexpectedly strong n sincere :) that, is worth much more than any material present one can get. Ellen, the hilarious yet serious lawyer to be. i've got a gd feeling abt this friendship :)

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i wish i had dars bitter chocolate in my fridge right now

that woud really make my day, chase the blues away. oh it rhymes.

i hate the feeling of going into a test and being so unsure of all my answers, all the while knowing i could have done so much more. i could have worked that much harder. the 'could have' feeling sucks. yes, the test was difficult, but it wasn't THAT difficult. yes, results are not everything, but it is the feeling of letting myself down, knowing that i hadn't put in the required amount effort that gets to me.

oh well. and discipling really takes energy. sometimes it can be frustrating n it gets hard to stay focused on why I'm doing it. n leading the lil ones in church is training my patience too. but at least my 'pleading', SMSes and call took effect and the two who can make it will come for the outing :) i do hope they dont change their mind again. They test my persuasion skills man.

All these explains my title. not feeling my best now. i'm glad God created cocoa, just that i should stocked dars up at home.

anyway, the past two days, i finally came to a decision about serving in crusade. n the whole period of seeking God's will in this matter just makes me in awe of God. Who Am I, that the almighty God will take such an interest in my life and the decisions that I have to make? Quoting Lindy, amazing hor, how personal He is when we earnestly seek Him.

This song aptly puts across my feelings.



there's a lot going on in terms of school work, but there's so much inertia in me. there're projects due, and the thought of the 5 final exams just scares me. but peace and joy even in the midst of it all is what i'm learning. this seems like a heavy hearted post. now i think i really need dars. the endorphins will help. maybe the milk chocs at home will do too. hmm.

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今晚

晚上10点钟，离开学校回家去。怎知道到站了发现khatib正下着大雨。很狼狈的撑着伞，背着书包，提着膝上电脑。小小的雨伞不怎么能遮雨；半路还被路过的巴士喷得一身湿湿的。回到家时，落汤鸡一只。更糟的是，我肚子好饿好饿！不是没吃晚餐，而是那份量也真是少得过分。两片面包组成的三文治，怎么能喂饱我！

回到家，请妈妈煮快熟面给我吃。冲了凉出来清爽干净了，吃着快熟面，看窗外下着大雨，不知为什么心里觉得那么踏实，那么温暖。有点似那热乎乎的面吃进肚子，却暖到心头里了。我喜欢那看着外头下雨，自己却温暖的在屋子里的感觉。

好了说了一堆random的话，可以去做些比较实在的事了。

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hmmm

the recess week was well spent i feel. and now its back to sch -.-

there's a lot on my mind, but i don't know how to put it in words. and there's no time to slow down and just stop and think. how i wish i can spend time at that reservoir place near my home and just have some personal retreat time.

anyhows.

during the break i had my favourite fishball beehoon back at st nicks :D even after so long its number 1 place is still irreplaceable :D i can feel my stomach rumbling just thinking about it!

st nicks feels like home. and so does Kinderart. went back to work on thurs, and the place still feels familiar, though some people have left. I sincerely miss having Zi Wei go buy lunch with me. the only other foodie in Kinderart is no longer there! sighs. so i ended up da baoing lunch for the rest alone. now i know how he felt when i went back to school and he was the only one doing that. i don't know how the rest can tahan the same food from the same hawker everyday when there's such nice food just a few more steps away! n i can never understand their tolerance for hunger.but well, I learnt a lot at Kinderart, and the people there feel like family. too bad I missed Vanessa again. and Ikram never fails to make me laugh. :D

that day on xian's bday chalet, i felt very loved by pear+papa. I asked for a ride to Tampines so that i'll be on time to catch the last shuttle from pasir ris, but they drove me all the way into aloha instead. and that really made me feel loved :)

after, my bro came from work at tiong bahru to aloha loyang to fetch me back to khatib. again, i felt loved. :) hmm i guess its good that he seldom drives me around. so when he does, i feel especially loved. hahs.

i kbox-ed with my primary school friends on fri, and it totally rocked. YAY to 老歌！爱如潮水，宝贝对不起，新不了情，听海，n lots of other old old songs that we only know the chorus to, and 'next' immediately after we finish the chorus. OH and we sang the song by 伍佰. the one with the actions. the taiwan cny variety show used that in their don't forget the lyrics game. and we danced to it!!! 'oh ~ ~ ~, 你是我的花朵’we danced the super funny steps! haha. (too bad i forgot the name to the song) and 五月天 got us standing up and bobbing our heads with our hands in the air! muahaha. just blogging about it makes me excited.

sun, i totally didn't hear my alarm ring, and i woke only half an hour before i was supposed to reach church for early band prac. i was gg to take a cab, but my mother persuaded my father to drive me to church instead. seems like i was driven around quite a few times in this past week. n i really do like sitting at the back of my father's motorbike, feeling the wind slap against us, looking into the blue sky, n chatting to my father over the loud wind.



after church I went out with Ye Ah En! haha. i love having a cousin who works at stb. kejia had this card that allows free entry into places of attraction in SIngapore. we proceeded to vivo, only to be told by counter staff that the free admission doesn't apply to underwater world, which en wanted to visit. so after the rain stopped we proceeded to singapore flyer instead. we found out later at night that the counter staff gave us wrong info. we do have free entry to underwater! grr. but singapore flyer was good too. and i haven't laughed so hard in ages. me being the cai hua, i did some funny caihua-ish thing and we started laughing. and then a little girl ran into en's legs and stumbled and when she tried getting past en's legs again she tripped over en's feet. and that just got us lauhing like mad. n i realised that its no good to laugh so hard when i'm having a cough. coughing + laughing fit is not comfortable at all.

we were scared at first, when we first got into the flyer. heh

The blue spot is the reflection of the other people in the capsule, standing under the blue light. look like ghost!

This is the place meihui en and i sat at just two weeks ago. we must have looked like ants to the people in the capsultes

so, now all the fun's more or less over. met zhe lun at church today to teach him piano. that boy is talented. no formal lessons but able to play classical pieces. woohoo~ n he said he's interested in serving as pianist! hahs. but that means i'll have to spend time coaching. but ohwells. :)

hmm. this is a super long post. hmm. but there's only so much a blog can do to relieve my mind. argh i should just stop typing or this will never end. grah.

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