A long day

This post was meant to be up yesterday, but after wrestling with the internet connection for an hour, I gave up. I’m here in mac’s having breakfast and tapping on their wireless instead.

Yesterday morning was terrible. Haven’t felt that upset in a long while. Someone said I was too harsh during song prac to a certain person. I don’t think its v nice to put the names out here. Normally I don’t get affected by these kinda things. But yesterday, I don’t know why, but I was really upset.

I really appreciate that the person let me know my flaw. I really do. But that doesn’t hide the fact that I was upset. upset with myself.

不知道为什么，在mrt里越想越有一种莫名的委屈。不知不觉眼泪就来了。有点灰心，伤心 – 原来自己在这方面所作出的努力根本是没用的。Unnoticed, useless effort. I’m upset with myself, with the fact that it seems like I have to be treading on eggshells when I deal with people like that. And it sucks to not be able to say what I feel like and trust that what is said in good humour will be taken as just that. Some people have sensitive souls, I guess. And at that moment the first people I thought of was dabestclique, around whom I can always say what is on my mind, and know for sure that I’ll still be accepted and loved by them, no matter what. I experienced how precious that is.

Anyway, I went for drums lesson in the afternoon after a meeting at Kinderart. And that cheered me up 50%.

And then there was the Ubin cycling trip with Pear, kai, and renjie. And that cheered me up 100%. By the time we reached Ubin, I was abt back to normal. Cycling in all that nature with great company and pear’s laughter made everything alright. And the reassurance from kaising, and the 'Ubin gang' helped too.

Now, I’m not upset already. What man doesn’t see and doesn’t know, God does. He knows my heart, and quoting Joshua laoshi, as long as my conscience is clear, and I know I have done right before God, don’t be bothered by comments. Everyone has his or her own view, and I appreciate that. But this time round, I think I was so upset because I’d already tried to be nice. And unlike other times when I know uh-oh, I said sth I shouldn’t, this time I was pretty sure I wasn’t too harsh. I remember taking special notice to not to be harsh, cos I knew the person was more sensitive than others. But I suppose it’s wasted effort. But seriously, what more could I have done? What more is expected?

Alright I shall not harp on this anymore. It’ll only bring back the gloominess. Talk abt happier stuff.

Such as the Ubin trip. The offroad biking bits were really exciting! And we chanced upon the mountain biking park too, though we didn’t have the time to explore more of it. It was so shiok to be far away from the hustle bustle of Singapore. There, everything just slows down. Its just the trees and us. Some stray dogs, a few lorries. And the very vast sky.

The photos are all with pear, i'm waiting to get them from her!

Today will be another long day. Going to work, followed by band and lesson with zhe lun and finally prayer meet. And sat, my family will be back! And then my sis in law can help to fix the internet. Or at least get someone in to fix it, since they were the ones who got the connection up.